perfectionism and motherhood

It seems to have been ages since I last posted and must admit am finding this really hard.

It would be easier if I knew that people were reading my blog but at the moment I feel like I am just talking to myself (which actually I do a lot of), and it is quite a challenge to motivate yourself, to sit down and write a little on what interests you when no one is interested in hearing it. It seems a bit self indulgent if you know what I mean?

Anyway, pushing on.

(ten minutes later am still thinking what to say next!)

(no decent camera to fill space here)

(another hour later, have just watched Location, Location, Location (saved on video from last week)- which by the way is still one of my favourite programmes and one to which we once applied, but got nowhere, obviously we didn't have enough money!)

Soooooooo. . . . . . . . .

Today I returned to my local new wool shop for their weekly knit and natter, I really enjoy going and am starting to get to recognise the regulars. With a pot of tea and my round crochet cushion I was v. happy and, tah dah

and closer?

believe me the white inner cushion pad doesn't look so stark in the flesh!

This is my favourite cushion that I have made so far and I am now obsessed with making cushions. My next cushion project is hopefully to be a rectangular blanket appliqued cushion. The sewing machine needs oiling for that and of course I need to find a suitable blanket. I feel a thrifting session coming on!

Speaking of obsessions, I have quite a few and will let you know all very soon!

summer is shiny weather

Another glorious day weather wise and another day of cleaning out the animals (well, actually, not me, husband!).



We have quite a few furry friends which has happened quite by accident.



We have;
Lolly and Laura (the two pigs)
Bella, Pip and Peter (the three rabbits)
Emily (the dog)
and some fish with lovingly thought up names by my two rascals (Paul, Stanley, Flipflop and Bubbles)

We love them all but it does get rather expensive with the food and time consuming with the care.

Anyway, after a naughty lunch of McDonalds, this afternoon has been very relaxing, children were amused with cousins and I managed to finish my round/square cushion!

I am really happy with it, it is really squishy and soft, but of course, only to be looked at on sofa, woebetide anyone who leans against it/ sits on it/ rests their head on it!

Hope that you have something this weekend that makes you happy too.

beavers and rabbits

Have settled in to a night in front of the telly, Strictly is on and husband is out. Do you know what really annoys me though? The children can't sit here and watch it with me. It doesn't finish until 10pm and after a long week at school it's just too much. Have had to promise a games night tomorrow to make up for it.

Am very much looking forward to it!

Speak more tomorrow, Strictly beckons!

just trying something out

This vintage blog by me, vintage maddie, is wondering how to get higher up on the Google list!

sticky stuff remover

Hi, hope that your day is going ok. I wasn't going to post today, had dedicated my day to housework but then the postman arrived, in a van, with a parcel that I have been soooo looking forward to receiving.

My yarn purchase has arrived and I havn't been this excited about yarn for a while. It is gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. The colours are amazing.

And now I can get started on the ROUND! crochet cushion that I am so desperate to crochet. I had seen the cushion on Posy's blog but didn't know where it was from. Anyway a friend thought that it may be Rooster and it is!

The pattern is in this fabulous book:

Isn't it lovely

See you soon! The housework can wait!

Ps. New bed up and running and am very chuffed

football signings

Today is a much better day. Weather however, leaves a lot to be desired. It is cold and windy and wet.

But actually the horrible weather can't get me down today, all it means is that I can get our winter duvet out of the loft and put it on our new bed!

The new bed alone (being delivered this evening) makes me very excited but with the lovely snuggly down winter duvet on I can't wait to get to bed tonight!

So, the pillows are all ready and waiting

the snuggly duvet lies in wait

and all I have to do now is hoover and dust and wait for my new bed to arrive.

That is going to be a massive job. You see, I store 'things' under the bed, 'things' that I don't know where else to put which, in turn, means that you can't just quickly hoover under the bed from week to week so, you (sorry, I) just leave it. And the dust just builds up and up.

So, with duster and polish, hoover and all attachments I am off to sort this problem out. Looking forward to the fact that when complete I will be very glad and will be able to go to bed tonight in new bed, under snuggly duvet, feeling very clean!

(well, thats the plan, knowing my luck bed won't arrive and will be sleeping on mattress on floor)

feeling cold

Tonight I feel very lucky.

Today has been a horrible day, for reasons I will not bore you with, but, I have had a friend with me all day to support me.

I havn't had a friend like that for about 13/14 years and I am very lucky to have found someone like this at my ripe old age of 33.

Someone who is absolutely there for me 24/7 and listens to all the stuff that goes on in my head.

I can not thank her enough and will always, always do the same in return.

Thank you thank you, favourite friend.

writing poems

What a beautiful day. A perfect Autumn day. Wonder how long this will last?

It's a day for the garden, a day for the veggie patch and a day for the animals to have a run.

hello Laura!

For enjoying a hot chocolate and a chiminea fire

As I say a lovely day for the garden.

However, the veggie patch is looking a bit sorry for itself. On it's last legs so to say. Still, some things are hanging on, the courgettes;

the pumpkins are doing well (but don't think they will be ready for Halloween)

the rhubarb is looking magnificent (although we are not cutting and eating it now, I have had enough of stewed rhubarb this year)

but what a shame. My sprouts have been invaded by caterpillars. This has been quite a bug bear this year. When I first planted them out ( after lovingly raising them from seed) they really loved it. A few weeks later we spotted some caterpillars on them. Cue the search for the Bug Barn son got for his birthday so that we could catch them, aaarrr they are so cute, just babies. Fast forward on another couple of weeks and they were the bane of my life, unable to keep up with them (picking them off and flicking them over the fence works well when there are a few but then they have more babies, well hidden, and all of a sudden there are babies, kids, parents and grandparents living off my produce) I gave up about a week ago. My poor, poor sprouts are barren. Want to see?

and the culprits?

Oh they make me mad.

Anyway, the potatoes and shallots are all stored for winter as is the beetroot. Sweetcorn wasn't much use this year.

Am wondering what to put in now, any ideas? Please?

learning to ride

Golly. Time flies when you are having fun and this week have been having too much fun and 'me time' and not enough of the daily grind. Feel very guilty.

Its always the same, when the children go back to school in September, I open my diary and seeing a wonderful month ahead, with very empty pages I breathe a sigh of relief that after seven weeks of fun and frolics (totally ignoring the dust bunnies collecting all over the house) I can get everything ship shape again.

The bathroom will be cleaned every week (properly)

The kitchen floor will be mopped every week

The house will be dusted every week (including the dresser)

The oven will be cleaned every week, NO only joking, every month

The beds will be changed every week

. . . . you get the idea

In fact September for me is worse than New Year for resolutions and just the same for feeling guilty when they slip.

I did a wonderful job the week they went back. I cleared out all the cupboards in our bedroom and felt very virtuous and free spirited. I love knowing I have managed to clear out some of the clutter because it is oh so hard for me to do this. I can tackle the world I thought (or at least the house), I even began to think that I could conquer the loft. But wait, I was setting myself up for a fall.

The following two weeks ensued and everything came crashing down. I was unwell for a while and ooops, got a bit used to 'looking after myself'. Lunch and treasure seeking trips with favourite friend, breakfast out with the girls, too many trips to new knitting shop and too much money spent on yarn for new projects (have finally found a pattern for a beautiful round crochet cushion from Rooster yarns!).

My diary is suddenly full and I really do get into a panic when I can't see a clear day ahead. I generally like to think I am an organised person but actually do find it rather easy to 'overlook' the boring things and then am exceptionally good at beating myself up about it.

So, here's to a new week. Here's to getting everything shipshape, to trying again. Here's to relaxing and enjoying and most of all to not feeling guilty.

On the side lines would love to share with you some things that make my heart sing (I know that sounds really yucky but it is true).

A white duvet cover and vintage crochet blanket (made by my mum) on daughters bed

A new tatted pillowcase found for pound in charity shop for daughters bed

My completed wristwarmers (good job you can't see the making up)

Papa Johns for tea. No washing up. Yippee!

job interviews

Hello. Its so nice to be sitting here chatting to you again. Its the first chance I have had to relax all day, have been busy, busy, busy but have managed to fit in some woolly goodness with pre mentioned favourite friend.

I have felt much better today and apart from a few anger issues, (wrong deliveries, wrong prices ) have enjoyed myself. Hey, having a good moan to a friend always helps doesn't it?

Anyway, back to the woolly goodness (sorry, don't mean that to sound really Attic 24). Just about managed to spend an hour at local new knitting shop and caused quite a stir because we were crocheting at the Knit and Natter (shock, horror). Had two or three people wonder if we could teach them and I wonder if we should hold a crochet workshop, am sure the lady who runs the shop would be very willing to let us.

Round/square cushion is coming on well, have bought more yarn to finish it now.

It looks ever so lovely when placed next to my recent new purchase from a lovely lady (will show you when complete!)

And have bought more of my favourite yarn of the moment, Sirdar Big Softie. It is soooooo quick and easy and satisfying for one such as me because you can quickly finish your project. Am now knitting a pair of wrist warmers, hopefully show you tomorrow. Oh and on the subject of easily finished projects am looking forward to showing you all my unfinished projects very soon (when I can fish them all down from their lovely home on top of my very dusty wardrobe).

Actually, need to buy even more Big Softie, little man now wants hat. Is it ok to do a boys hat in this yarn? Bless.

brownie promise

Oh, to post or not to post. That is the question tonight.

Felt very elated yesterday and sure that I had got the hang of blogging.

Today is a very different matter.

Have pondered and deliberated and do not feel at all confident. So, to be true to what I wanted to achieve with this blog (honesty and a true reflection of myself and my world) I decided to write todays post in the knowledge that I will bore you all to tears.

Had a very guilty day where, still not feeling well (oh poor me), I have achieved a hat and a chilli. And not much else.

Bad picture of hat below

With energy saving lightbulb at 9.30pm camera is not much use.

Hat is for daughter and daughter is at least very pleased. Although the attitude is beginning to kick in, cue slammed doors and strops because . . . . . . I didn't say 'you are welcome' when she said 'thank you'. Oh my word.

until tomorrow

Oh my. Oh no. Just got really, really excited. Closed my post on 27 hits and logged back on to 32! Are people really reading this, is there really anybody out there? Yes, there is, it is my lovely sister in law clicking on everything on my blog and pushing my hit counter up! Damn those hit counters, you can become obsessed you know. But thank you for being so lovely brother and sister in law.

worry is a wasted emotion

Hello. I havn't felt too well these past two days, which I absolutely hate and although my idea was to post everyday I didn't feel up to it. I am the sort of person to start something and never finish, I get bored rather easily and once I take a break from something I rarely go back, so, felt the need tonight to write, otherwise I may never come back.


My day has been frustrating. Got up expecting to feel better but didn't. Thought I would pop to our NEW! knitting shop, get some more yarn to finish my round/square cushion, didn't realise it is shut on Monday. That will have to wait until tomorrow then.


However, not all is lost. Nipped up the road to a charity shop that I havn't been in for ages and it had a half price sale! Was very excited. Managed to find a lovely (well, I think it is, husband begs to differ) tapestry picture. It was £1.50 in the sale. What a shame to think of all the hours that someone has put in lovingly and it ends up here. Anyway, could not leave it. It needed a new home where someone is proud of it. Arrive home to husbands mumbling of 'thought you were going out for wool' and settle down to have a good look with two more Nurofen. Now, this makes me very inquisitive and feel even more attached to the picture, it was made in 1961 by a man, has been professionally framed and has, sellotaped to the back, a ripped out calendar page of exactly the same view ( albeit from the later time of 1985). This makes me think that the location/view must have meant quite a lot to the person who made this picture and makes me wonder about the story behind it. Perhaps it was a much loved holiday destination (being a picture of an Essex village when the picture was framed in Yorkshire) or perhaps the creator hails from those parts? Well, unfortunately I will never know but I will love it just the same (even more when it has a new frame!).


Sorry, would you like to see my ameteur photo of it?

























This photo does not by half show the lovely colours and craftmanship that has gone into this work. Oh, and the village is Finchingfield, Essex.



Happy, happy, happy.

anonymous

Have had a funny day today, woke up full of the joys of Autumn, a weekend to do as we choose, but as usual it degenerated into a day of Daddy cleaning out the animals, cutting the grass and daughter getting very upset because her pet rabbit "doesnt like me anymore". I decided to not feel too guilty as the cheeky monkeys say "I'm bored" (you know what they say about bored people, I told them) and remember that the day is beautiful, the sun is shining and really they are very lucky.

Sat down to do some crochet. Having knitted some bunting last week and having leftover yarn needed a little project. . . . . . . . (I am going to try to insert a picture, no, I havn't bought a decent camera yet, husband found a very old one in his office)

Wowee, I managed, yes I know its pretty bad but at least you get the gist.

My bunting. Cost quite a lot of money. But I love it. It is so soft.

Anyway, I have quite a bit of yarn left so decided to make a round crochet cushion.

Its lovely and ROUND isnt it? Yes, I couldnt manage to make it round without a pattern (so new I am to crochet) so have made it SQUARE. Very amatuer. Very me. But it is very soft and very pretty. Oh dear, dont think I will have quite enough yarn. Typical.

Even scarier

In the cold light of day I wonder why I decided to begin. What will I say, how will I say it, how can I live up to all the wonderful blogs that I follow and most awful of all, who is going to read it?

Anyhow. Friday, my favourite day of the week, the weekend is ahead and we have nothing planned. Am looking forward to a trip to the local garden centre this afternoon with my favourite shopping friend and fellow treasure seeker on a hunt for plant pots that look old but are new (follow the drift?) and then on to a fantastic antique/junk shop that said friend introduced me to not long ago. Again would love to share with you the items recently purchased but still missing that vital tool for a decent blog, a digital camera of my own.

On a different note, postman just arrived, with clotted cream from Devon! Every year my parents go there and send (yes, send! through the post) a pot of clotted cream. Its just not the same bought anywhere else you see, so I am now off to enjoy a very naughty lunch, well . . . . . it is Friday after all.

Scary stuff

I'm very new to this and I've wanted to do a blog for a long time, so I'm taking a brave step and trying my best to set this up. I'd love to show you some photos of our beautiful evening tonight. . . but the only decent one was the one I used for my blog heading. Must get my own digital camera and stop using daughters.